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3 Reasons You Should Make a Budget

Aug 30, 2023

At the time of this writing, my YNAB account shows my Age of Money is 106 days. That means I’m spending the dollars I made over 3 months ago. How did I get to this point? What were the steps I took? In this post, we’re going to look at some of the things you need to take into consideration if you want to get on the right track for financial success. Too many young men blow money on ridiculous pastimes and purchases. True wisdom comes in learning to enjoy the simpler things in life and learning to master the practice of delayed gratification. If you can realize this and implement it sooner rather than later, you will be on track for a successful and financially free life.

A lot of people hate the word budget. Especially young people. The budget was the thing that your grandparents had to do when they were young so that they could make ends meet after working on the farm all day. A budget was the reason you couldn’t get that toy as a child or that car as a teenager. Indeed, many people have the idea that a budget is restrictive above all else. I’m going to argue the opposite. Committing to a budget was one of the most financially freeing things that I did, and I’m so glad I did it early on.

Think I’m kidding? I just bought a $2,600 2021 Martin HD-28 guitar last week without breaking a sweat. It would’ve been $3,500, but I found a used one in mint condition out of New York. This guitar is widely regarded as the premiere dreadnought acoustic guitar. Handcrafted from solid Sitka and East Indian Rosewood. I had to have one shipped to me because they are very rarely in stock at stores. I’ve wanted one since I was 12. Now, this particular bit might not apply to those of you who are currently supporting families, but for all of my single 20-something young professionals… if you were to look in your checking account right now, could you drop $2,600 with no problem? Considering 60% of U.S. adults, including those making high income, live paycheck to paycheck, I’d wager some of you cannot.

What’s the secret? Am I filthy rich? Did I inherit a fortune? No, and no. I budgeted. 8 months. Every week, I saved a portion of my paycheck and earmarked it for this guitar. I cut out the things I didn’t care about to work towards the things I did. That’s the secret that many simply don’t have to self-control to learn.

I’ll be honest with you, I ate baloney sandwiches for lunch for 8 months. Boom. Just like that, I lost some of you. For many, that is the cardinal sin of budgeting. They don’t want to have to sacrifice an accepted lifestyle to achieve their goal. They don’t want to buy the generic brand, or skimp on the Friday night festivities. Read the bolded sentence above one more time. You. Don’t. Have. To. If a $5 coffee if something you want every morning and you can afford it, go for it. For example, my mother adamantly refuses to buy any other ketchup brand besides Heinz. One of the tenants she lives by is “no off-brand Heinz or Jell-O”. She almost threw a fit the one time I went shopping and grabbed a bottle of Great Value. If Heinz ketchup is the only acceptable ketchup for you, buy it. It’s all about being within reason.

Back to my baloney example. I calculated that buying lunch would cost me around $10 a day where I work. That’s $50 a week, also known as $200 a month. For the 8 months I saved, I would have lost out on $1,600 towards my Martin HD-28 guitar! I know myself well enough to know I’ve never been a lunch person. Sometimes I skip simply because I’m not hungry, or I’m in the middle of a train of thought at work and don’t want to add a break. Therefore, it’s no big deal for me personally to wolf down a 50-cent baloney sandwich I made at the house.

Now, note that I was the only one out of all my coworkers who ate a baloney sandwich. They’d go to the cafeteria and get fried chicken, mac ‘n cheese, taco salads, and a whole host of other delicacies that the kitchen staff dreamed up. It smelled good, it looked good, and I caught good-natured flack more than once about my “broke college kid” baloney sandwich. Some people would have cracked under the peer pressure. They would have thrown away the $200 just to look like everyone else. Don’t be that guy. Stick to your plan. If you have a goal in mind, whether it be a guitar, a game console, a down payment on a car or a house, a boat, etc., work towards it.

FIND YOUR BALONEY SANDWICH. Find the thing you don’t care about as much, put it on the back burner, and divert those resources towards building your goal.

Building that budget, and watching the numbers grow every paycheck towards that goal, more than makes up for the flack you’ll catch from people who aren’t practicing the same level of financial self-discipline. At the end of the day, if your responsibilities are taken care of (like tithes, living expenses, and providing for dependents) then your money is your money. There’s nothing wrong with people who don’t budget. Don’t look down on those who don’t want to chart out their financial goals, but don’t let their lack of direction distract you from pursuing yours.

When the pressure is getting to you, keep in mind the following 3 things regarding budgeting. Think long-term, and keep your eyes on the prize.

Budgeting reduces stress.

When budgeting is done well, you will always know where you stand with your long-term financial goals. This frees you to be more “in-the-moment” regarding your finances. Now, it’s important to see that there are men who will be “in-the-moment” and spend money they don’t have, but that is the polar opposite of what I’m talking about here.

I’m in-the-moment with my finances because I’ve built up a buffer that allows me to be. If I have a bill that comes up unexpectedly, I just pay it. If I see a deal on Amazon that I want to take advantage of, I can without any fear of overcharging. If someone needs some help, I can give it without hesitation. There is no stress associated with my credit card statement or bank statement because I already know what money has come out and what money has come in.

I already plugged it a bit earlier, but YNAB is the tool that I use to keep track of all of this. I have this software linked to all of my cards and accounts, and I always can see at a glance where my money is at. This brings a peace of mind that is important to have if you are to excel in your financial journey and reach the next level.

Budgeting can also improve your ability to manage time. In all actuality, time is more important than money. Don’t believe me, just ask any billionaire sitting in a hospital room waiting on his last breath. The reality is that money is a tool that we can use to prosper in this life, but time is what makes each day of this life real.

I waxed slightly philosophical to bring this point home: budgeting allows you to say no to unnecessary activities and plans. It forces you to be selective with your bank account and with your time. If you’re on a budget, you’re not going to be blowing money every Friday night. This is healthy for your finances, and probably also for your physical well-being, as most young people tend to act wilder towards the end of the work week.

This means less stress of trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. You don’t have to go buy the latest boat or truck, You don’t have to make an appearance at the latest party or get-together. When you become confident enough with your financial goals that you are willing to turn down those kinds of “experiences”, it shows that you are becoming more comfortable in your own skin and goals. By no means am I saying to be a penny-pinching hermit, but realize that the moderation brought on by sticking to a budget can have a positive impact on your mental health.

Budgeting provides financial freedom.

As I alluded to earlier, there is freedom associated with budgeting. Many people do what they want, but they also suffer the guilt that comes with doing what they want. Case in point, Mike wants a new muffler exhaust kit for his Mustang, but rent is due for his apartment next week. Mike makes the mistake of watching a marketing promo from the kit manufacturer and ends up buying the kit on a whim. He then feels guilty because he can barely make rent and has to forgo his savings goal for the month.

Mike did what he wanted and he got the kit, but as soon as the “new” wore off, he felt guilty because he realized he wasn’t going to make his savings goal and he barely made his rent. This is the trap a lot of people fall into. They get their mind set on a thing, whether it be a vacation, a toy, or some other object. They go and buy it, but then they experience buyer’s remorse. That’s the unspoken truth about much of the consumerism in America today.

Having a budget removes buyer’s remorse. Why? Because I already had the funds allocated for the item. Every purchase I make is already premeditated and calculated. Now, I don’t have an Excel spreadsheet that has every item I’ll ever buy listed in it, but I do have a catch-all fund for it. Every month, I allocate myself $300 to blow on whatever I want. I’ve used it to buy a floor heater, clothes, a clothes iron, shoes, and all kinds of random things. All of my “impulse” purchases come from this fund, so I never feel guilty about pulling from it. Now, if I were Mike, I would have created a target goal in YNAB and saved up for a few months before buying my exhaust kit, but that’s just me.

If you implement this, you will find that over time you begin to self-regulate. I rarely use all $300 every month, and whatever I don’t use rolls over into the next month. How do I regulate it? I ask myself, “What’s the benefit?”. If my old tennis shoes have worn-down soles, then the benefit of buying new ones is better support for my feet. If I’m tired of the temperature in my bathroom feeling like 32 degrees when I get out of bed in the morning, I buy a floor heater. These are purchases with purpose. If you can master this mindset, you will free up a lot of money while also increasing the quality of your daily life.

Budgeting builds character.

This brings us to our final point about budgeting for today. It builds character. You have to have self-control when you budget. You’re too old to be a kid in a candy store. There comes a point in a man’s life when he has to have the common sense to make good financial decisions. We are not supposed to be penny pinchers or misers, but we are to set ourselves up to provide for ourselves and those who depend on us. If you don’t have the self-respect to delay self-gratification and put the work in to build a better financial future for tomorrow, then you are in need of some character building. Start small with a budget and build your way up. The easiest is the 50-20-30 rule.

Bills (50%)
Savings (20%)
Wants (30%)

Of course, you can decide to be flexible with this. If you’re in debt, or money is tight, you may want to trim back the wants category in favor of more towards bills, or you may want to use your savings to knock out some school debt, or credit card debt, or something similar. I actually have modified this method slightly for myself to find a better sweet spot.

Also, part of what builds that character is having the patience and endurance to see the budget through. Most likely, you will not have it nailed down until about month three or four. There are kinks to iron out and tweaks to be made to have a budget that fits your lifestyle.

Above all else, learn to be content. A big part of having a budget is learning to care more about your financial goals than other people’s opinions. Few things in life will foster more discontentment than a man who compares himself to another man. Moreso than our female counterparts, we have a sense of pride that often rears its head in ugly ways. Sometimes, it leads us to make rash financial choices so that we can be part of the “in” crowd, or that so we can be “better” than so-and-so. A little free tip… if you went into debt buying a new truck, just so you could one-up the guy parked next to you at Walmart, you’re in this category. Budgeting gives us more opportunities to be content with what we already have. The sooner we recognize and embrace that, the better our financial futures will be.

This article originally appeared on Fill in the Gap.

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How to counsel

Aug 27, 2023

You will never excel in building relationships if you don’t understand the idea of counseling. I am a Christian, and this is a Christian blog, so naturally we will look at the idea of counseling in its purest and most natural form, the Biblical way. Stick with me though, because there is PLENTY of practical application in all areas of life.

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Whether its a relationship with a significant other, a friend, or a work colleague, we must understand some basic truths about how humans perceive the world if we are to excel in building relationships. Often, the best way to deepen relationships is through good counsel or good advice. People will naturally gravitate towards those who they feel can understand them. No one honestly wants to feel alone and unseen. From the greatest leaders to the most ruthless criminals, everyone has a desire to be remembered for something, or to be seen as something. In this article, we’re going to examine four types of counseling situations. I learned these extensively during my time as a camp counselor, and they’ve stuck with me since. Over time, I’ve rehearsed these tenets enough to be able to apply them in almost any situation. Whether it’s a personal battle, a friend struggling with a problem, or a coworker blowing off steam, there’s a world of insight that opens up if you can fit the outpouring of emotion you’re experiencing into one of these four categories. All four categories branch from two ideas: suffering and sin.

Sin Around Me.

This suffering comes from living in a world marked by the effects of wrongdoing. Sin entered the picture with Adam’s first mistake, causing the whole world to become messed up and broken. I’m going through tough times, but it’s not always because of something I did wrong or because of others hurting me. The presence of sin around me means I’m facing difficulties due to living in a world affected by the fallout of wrongdoing. I’m living in a world scarred by the curse of sin I need to figure out how to deal with this reality based on what the Bible teaches.

For example, because we live in a sin-cursed world, we will suffer heartache and pain. When I speak of sickness, I’m talking about ailments outside of our control, like brain tumors, cerebral palsy, arthritis, Alzheimer’s, etc. Because we live in a world marred by the effects of sin, we have to deal and cope with various ailments that would have never been an issue had man not aligned himself in rebellion against God.

I had a great-aunt who recently died of cancer. She fought for over a decade. She loved the Lord. She raised kids who love the Lord. She was active in her community, her church, and her career. She always had a smile, she always had a nice thing to say about somebody, and she was always so lively.

Still, because of the effects of sin, she had to experience pain and sickness. She tried multiple different medications and treatment programs. She was in wheelchairs and hospital rooms. She had splitting headaches and severe nausea. The chemo medicine tore at her body to the point where she developed blisters on her feet, making it impossible to walk. She rang the cancer bell multiple times but it kept coming back, and it eventually took her life.

It was nobody’s fault that she got cancer. It was no one’s fault that she died of cancer. It is simply the result of us living in a sin-cursed world. And sometimes we experience things in life that are painful and that are tough. They’re difficult, they make us angry, and they make us sad. But we can take joy in the fact that, if we know Jesus and have accepted him as Lord and Savior, there will come a day when we will be removed from the presence of sin and it will no more have an effect on us like it does now.

Sin in Me.

The sin within me is my own. It is something I’m responsible for personally. However, it’s important to note that it’s not limited to outward actions or words alone, but it goes deeper, stemming from my inner desires and convictions. In other words, what I do and say is based on what I crave and believe in. Remember, though my personal sin is tied to my choices, it’s not a private matter. Its effects ripple out and impact those in my sphere of influence and interaction.

When I was a child, I got into a fight with my brother, It got physical, and, because I was bigger than him, I ended up getting my arms wrapped around his legs, where I then proceeded to drag him down the carpeted hallway, putting carpet burn all along his back. A few years later, when he outgrew me, he got the upper hand in a different fight and performed a wicked “ground and pound” operation on my face. No one had to teach us to hurt each other. Both of us had too much pride, and we both wanted respect, so we resorted to violence in order to obtain it.

I fully knew what I was doing when I dragged him down that hallway, screaming. He knew the same when he had me pinned on the floor. The effects of the sin rippled out and affected the other person. It is important to note that when you, or someone you are interacting with, is dealing with an issue of personal sin, that they will most likely deflect at first. If you had asked me about that fight with my brother right after it had happened, I would have furiously told you it was all his fault because he had belittled me and he was aggravating and immature and whatever other excuse I could think up. However, I was in the wrong when I dragged him down the hallway.

To respond correctly in this situation, it’s important to let the person air their grievances, and then ask self-reflective questions. “How did you respond when they did X” “What did you think when they said Y”. Figure out who provoked whom and proceed from there. The less talking that you do at the outset, the better. You want the person to initially feel seen, not attacked. Once you have the full scope of the interaction, then you can present your evidence if you feel this is a Sin In Me situation.

When you begin to counsel, make sure that you target the root, not the fruit. If you are counseling 10-year-old me about fighting with my brother, you wouldn’t simply tell me that dragging him around is wrong. That would be akin to clipping off a dead branch, but still letting poison seep into the roots. Eventually, that poison will kill another branch of the tree, right? So, instead, you should go deeper and tell me that my pride and arrogant attitude (which led to me feeling that I had to drag him around to show him who the boss was) was the actual problem.

Ideally, to address this, you’d offer Biblical counsel in the form of Scripture. God’s Words will always have more power than mine or yours. You would show me a verse like Proverbs 16:18.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

You would then tie the verse into the actual real-life situation. “Your haughty prideful spirit has caused you to fall. Right now, you are not in a good standing with your brother. He is rightfully angry at you for hurting him, and you need to seek to make it right”.

Naturally, this template will vary based on the Sin in Me situation that you find yourself in. Some people will not initially appreciate the counsel. Don’t hammer on them. Lovingly present the truth and let them come around to it in time. They will respect you for your tact and honesty, and the relationship will grow.

Sin Against Me.

Sin against me refers to sin that I haven’t committed, yet I suffer for. I’ve been a victim of sin, and it wasn’t my choice. As such, I continue to bear the consequences of another person’s personal sin. This type of sin has the potential to breed bitterness and a mindset of being victimized, both of which require guidance from a Biblical perspective.

Many struggle with this today. Many rebellious youth who’ve joined the Sin in Me and Sin With Me camps began in the Sin Against Me. Sadly, much of this stems from a lack of parents, and, more specifically, a lack of fathers. Depriving a child of love and attention is a wicked sin that has become all too common. As the child grows, he begins to seek validation from other places if he is not receiving it from his parents. This is where the “falling in with the wrong crowd” really begins to take root.

If you are dealing with someone who is struggling with a Sin Against Me, it’s important that you steer them clear of the victim mentality. A victim mentality absolves the person from responsibility for themselves. It basically says, “You have every right to act and speak however you want because of what was done to you”. This is wrong. Regardless of how we’ve been treated, there are specific principles, ideals, and attitudes that we must continue to uphold. Among these are grace, forgiveness, mercy, and wisdom. You don’t always have to shoot the snake with snakeshot, but you better make sure you never stick your hand in its den again! If someone has the ability to remove themselves from a Sin Against Me situation, they should, but they should not hold a grudge.

A victim mentality seeks to dissolve these principles of forgiveness and mercy in favor of carnal responses, such as bitterness and anger. If you see someone leaning towards that, guide them back to the truth. Validate and pivot. For example…

“That was definitely the wrong way for them to respond, so I understand why you feel that way. That being said, you are still responsible for you. You can’t allow them to continue to control you after the fact. While you can’t always control your circumstances, you can control your response. What is the best response for you to have?”

Notice how we didn’t discount or devalue the feeling, but we didn’t dwell on it and have a pity party. Put the ball back in their court. Many people in the Sin Against Me category feel as if they have no say in the situation. They will tell you this repeatedly in different ways. And, they are not wrong. They are being negatively affected by things they had nothing to do with. When counseling them, show them that they have a say. Give them a choice. Tactfully guide them to a plan of action, even if it affects no one but them. By building that direction out, you are giving them hope. As always, tie it in with Scripture. A good passage I’ve found is Romans 5:3-5…

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Romans 5:3-5

If you are saved, the Holy Spirit will give you the strength. Rest assured, God will always have your best interest at heart. If you keep the focus on Him through all your tribulations and troubles, you will come out the other side with more patience, hope, and joy. Bringing this thought to the forefront with whoever you are counseling is a good idea. It is encouragement for the believer and a testimony to the greatness of God for the unbeliever.

Sin With Me.

Sin with me is the wrongdoing I partake in alongside another individual. It’s important to realize that this participation doesn’t just reflect my personal sin; it also highlights a more significant issue at hand. In this situation, I’ve aligned myself with others in a rebellion against God’s teachings and principles. Sadly, it seems that Sin with Me situations are often brought to light through the observations of someone else, which can potentially lead to a stronger resistance to changing for the better.

Everyone has heard the old adage - if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it too? Regardless of what we say, the answer for most people would be yes in the end. We are creatures who thrive in belonging and community. There’s a hole in each person. A void that can only be filled by a relationship with Jesus Christ. But many try to substitute and fill this hole with the people around us. We are often persuaded into certain ideas, thought processes, and actions by the actions and ideas of those around us. Sadly, because we all have a sinful nature, Sin With Me becomes a very real possibility.

When people think of group sin, they often think of things like doing drugs together or participating in other illegal activities like shoplifting, robbery, or murder. Maybe they go a bit deeper and include things like premarital sex. However, few talk about gossip, binge drinking, hard-partying, gambling, or any of the other litany of sins that are often participated in by joining another person. All of these things have the same outcome. They pull you further away from God and further away from morality.

Often people get offended when interventions are staged. They find belonging in the people they are sinning with. After all, your closest buddy is the one you can get blackout drunk in a bar with right? That new girl or guy that you’re sleeping with is the most important person in your life, right? Wrong. The people who actually care about you wouldn’t want that kind of life for you, and you know it. But, as we are creatures of community, we are also creatures of comfort. We will follow the crowd and go where we see that we can fit in and not be ostracized. In a world filled with sin, it’s easy to join in the sin rather than stand out like a sore thumb by refusing to take part.

When counseling someone who’s participating in shared sin, Don’t come at them hard ready to beat them over the head with a Bible. Don’t lead off with angry admonishment. Tact is of utmost importance.

Ask them about the future they see in their shared sin. What is the future that you see from going out and partying every weekend? What is the future you see with that boy or that girl that you’re sleeping with outside of wedlock? What do you hope to inspire by gossiping about that person? Are these activities uplifting you and others, or are they tearing people down? In gambling, for someone to win, someone has to lose. In gossiping, someone has to be ridiculed, mocked, or exposed without their knowledge. Someone’s first act of premarital sex always begins with somebody having to give up their purity. None of these are things to be taken lightly. There is no real community in shared sin. Rather, there is shared hurt. There is shared responsibility and shared consequences. The sooner someone recognizes this, the better.

If you can correctly place the problem into one of these categories, you will be much more effective in offering solid advice and input. A particular problem that we face today as a society is a lack of genuine concern. There are people who, if you were to try to explain to them a struggle, they’d let you run out of breath and then give you a pre-prepared response. They’d tell you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, have more faith, or work harder. All of these are very generic responses. There is no listening, only projecting. Don’t be like these people. When building real relationships, you must offer real feedback. To be the best friend, boyfriend, husband, or man that you need to be, you need to be able to approach problems by finding the root of the sin issue. Then, you will be able to counsel yourself and others much more effectively.

This article originally appeared on Fill in the Gap.

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Don't trust in the Ark

Aug 20, 2023

Read

1 Samuel 4:1-22

1 And the word of Samuel came to all Israel. Now Israel went out against the Philistines to battle, and pitched beside Ebenezer: and the Philistines pitched in Aphek.

2 And the Philistines put themselves in array against Israel: and when they joined battle, Israel was smitten before the Philistines: and they slew of the army in the field about four thousand men.

3 And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies.

4 So the people sent to Shiloh, that they might bring from thence the ark of the covenant of the Lord of hosts, which dwelleth between the cherubims: and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with the ark of the covenant of God.

5 And when the ark of the covenant of the Lord came into the camp, all Israel shouted with a great shout, so that the earth rang again.

6 And when the Philistines heard the noise of the shout, they said, What meaneth the noise of this great shout in the camp of the Hebrews? And they understood that the ark of the Lord was come into the camp.

7 And the Philistines were afraid, for they said, God is come into the camp. And they said, Woe unto us! for there hath not been such a thing heretofore.

8 Woe unto us! who shall deliver us out of the hand of these mighty Gods? these are the Gods that smote the Egyptians with all the plagues in the wilderness.

9 Be strong and quit yourselves like men, O ye Philistines, that ye be not servants unto the Hebrews, as they have been to you: quit yourselves like men, and fight.

10 And the Philistines fought, and Israel was smitten, and they fled every man into his tent: and there was a very great slaughter; for there fell of Israel thirty thousand footmen.

11 And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were slain.

12 And there ran a man of Benjamin out of the army, and came to Shiloh the same day with his clothes rent, and with earth upon his head.

13 And when he came, lo, Eli sat upon a seat by the wayside watching: for his heart trembled for the ark of God. And when the man came into the city, and told it, all the city cried out.

14 And when Eli heard the noise of the crying, he said, What meaneth the noise of this tumult? And the man came in hastily, and told Eli.

15 Now Eli was ninety and eight years old; and his eyes were dim, that he could not see.

16 And the man said unto Eli, I am he that came out of the army, and I fled to day out of the army. And he said, What is there done, my son?

17 And the messenger answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two sonsni and Phine also, Hophhas, are dead, and the ark of God is taken.

18 And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.

19 And his daughter in law, Phinehas’ wife, was with child, near to be delivered: and when she heard the tidings that the ark of God was taken, and that her father in law and her husband were dead, she bowed herself and travailed; for her pains came upon her.

20 And about the time of her death the women that stood by her said unto her, Fear not; for thou hast born a son. But she answered not, neither did she regard it.

21 And she named the child Ichabod, saying, The glory is departed from Israel: because the ark of God was taken, and because of her father in law and her husband.

22 And she said, The glory is departed from Israel: for the ark of God is taken.

Reflect

In 1 Samuel 4, we see the Israelites were looking to religion to save them, not God. Verse 2 shows us that the Israelites initially tried to battle by themselves. God was not involved from the beginning. Notice that these backslidden Israelites only turn to God after they had been smitten once. This brings about an interesting point. Sometimes, God allows us to be smitten, so that we turn back to him. But what happens if we don’t? Herein lies the mistake that we can make. When we look to the golden box, rather than to the God who created the golden box, we fail.

Case in point, after 9/11 happened, churches were filled. People wanted to know the work of God, in hopes that he would heal the land and provide peace for the hurting. But they didn’t want to know the ways of God, because as soon as the shock of the event wore off, they went back to the lives they lived before.

You see, the Israelites ascribed the power of God to a golden box. It’s interesting that the pagan Philistines had the same thought process in verse 7. The Israelites were thinking exactly like the pagans! Both sides thought God had come into the camp because the ark was there. They took the physical presence of an object and attributed it to the presence of God.

In reality, the ark was a gun with no bullets. It was intimidating, but absolutely useless because God wasn’t there. We often wonder why we don’t win in the battles of this life. We wonder why sin triumphs in situations. Sometimes it’s simply because Satan is the prince of the power of the air. As such, God is given him reign and freedom to do as he wishes on the earth. But other times it’s because we come to the battle, armed with a gun with no bullets. We have a form of godliness, but we deny the power thereof. We have a head knowledge of who God is, but we’ve never acted on it with our hearts.

Many churches are ineffective in ministry because they are in ministry for the wrong reason. Many people don’t bear the fruit in their lives because they haven’t taken the time to water the soil of their souls. Thus, when the battle comes, we fall. When the culture attacks, the church falls. We see that the same thing happened here first in 1 Samuel 4 when the art was brought to the battle. They were slaughtered, the ark was taken, and when Eli heard of it, he died as well. Eli’s grandson was named Ichabod, meaning “the glory of the Lord had been taken”

Remember

We’re in a battle on this Earth. A spiritual one. The unsaved feel the effects of this battle is much as the saved do. They run to the ark. What are some of the “arks” we attempt to take solace in today? Lightshow churches, the prosperity gospel, the Word of Faith movement, the Seeker movement, and others. All of these are arks that men try to bring to the battle because he doesn’t see the need for Jesus. Some who are lost think they can get all the strength they need from some feel-good music and nice words.

However, believers get caught in the same boat. Think about it. So many churches are stately, beautiful, grandiose buildings, but the glory of God has departed from them because they’re relying on things other than God. They’re relying on membership numbers, or a thriving youth program, or a widespread music ministry. All of it points back to religious activity. Religion will save no one.

As we discussed earlier, if you try to fight Satan armed with just religion, you will fall just as the Israelites did. The ark was the greatest religious symbol the Israelites had, and it had no effect in the battle with the enemy because God was not present. This begs the question… are you like Hophni and Phineas, “turning on” your holiness every once in a while while you live a wicked and sinful life? Do you roll out the ark when you’re in need of help, but otherwise the things of God are out of mind and out of the picture? Be warned. God is not pleased with that and God is not in that. The end of that road is spiritual and physical death. Don’t look to the ark. Don’t look to rote religion. Rather, look to God consistently with fervor, humility, and praise.

This article originally appeared on Fill in the Gap.

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Why you need to jump rope

Aug 20, 2023

I really got into jump roping when I was in my sophomore year of college. Anyone who knows me knows that I am somewhat of a cardio buff. I know some people absolutely hate the idea of a constant, repetitive, tiring motion, but I thrive on it. My undiagnosed type A personality needs an outlet, and cardio is one of the best that I can think of.

See, when you are doing cardio, everything else has to stop. There comes a point where it’s just you and the pavement. Your brain has to focus on that rhythm, or else you will falter. It is when you reach that crossover moment that life gets so much simpler. Because you aren’t thinking about all the other stuff, your brain is free to reset.

For a long time, I ran. 3 miles a day. I remember running “the loop” at our old house in the little town of Latta, SC. Then, when my family moved, I created a new loop in the new neighborhood. And I ran it. Day or night. Rain or shine. 30 degrees or 90 degrees. My uncle bought me some discounted Hoka Rincons for a birthday, and I was hooked. I’d put them on, turn up my music, and drown out everything else.

One evening, I received some disappointing news and I was very angry. I decided to hit the road and get it all out. A few minutes into my run, I landed wrong on a rock. I attempted to run through the pain and, when I finally got back to the house later that night, my knee gave out going up the stairs. Doctor visits and physical therapy sessions soon followed. My PT recommended I take part in a low-impact exercise routine until I healed. Thus, I was introduced to the world of jump rope.

I’d always thought of jump rope as a child’s game. This was something that little kids did on a playground at recess while they sang nursery rhymes right? Wrong. I did some googling and found The Jump Ropes. I then went on Amazon and bought this jump rope, and I soon became addicted. I’d come home after school in the afternoons, drop my backpack, roll out a mat on the driveway, and get to it. I skipped until I dripped. I got into speed rope. I started learning the little tricks, like High Knees, Double Unders, The Boxer Skip, and Criss Cross. I even was able to pull off a few Triple Unders.

Then I upped the ante. I began to jump roping in just shorts, regardless of the weather. This isn’t a big deal until you’re doing 2000 skips a session. 4 sets of 500. You have to go fast. If you miss a beat, you get whipped. Literally. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but it really helped train mental discipline. Then, I began experimenting with weighted jump ropes in hopes of improving arm strength. It worked, and as I went through my college career I was able to maintain a healthy weight and build muscle.

What’s the point Sam? What’s the superpower behind jump rope? I’m getting to that. Here are three things that I learned from jump roping. These are three things any man can gain by picking up the rope. Read that last sentence again in Grand Master Oogway’s voice please.

Train on a Budget

One of the secret powers of jump rope is how cheap to get into. We have this preconception that something may be wrong when something is cheap. When it comes to jumping rope, this is definitely not the case. When I started, I spent $18 on a rope with ball bearings. I already had shoes. I already had pavement. I repurposed a shop mat and I was good to go. Too many guys get caught up in the perceived price of health. They want to buy 15 different vitamin supplements, purchase massage guns, and Lululemon fitness gear. Then they throw away money every month in high-dollar gyms. When they get done with their workout, they drain an $8 protein shake and call it good to go. All of that is so unnecessary.

If you’ve never worked out, jump rope is hands-down the way to go. It’s the ultimate full-body workout on a budget. Every revolution of that rope around your body activates your thighs, hips, glutes, abdominals, arms, shoulders, wrists, and hands. It really is nothing more than total-body movement. As you get more comfortable with basic jump rope, you can take time and learn variations, which can accentuate the workout on various muscle groups even further.

There are few other activities, besides running, that offer this much athletic benefit at this low of a price. I had a long-running argument with a weightlifter friend of mine (no pun intended) about who was the most athletic. He paid for a gym membership, drank protein shakes, and was very fit. We’re talking tree-trunk thighs here fellas. The man was not a joke. He also wasn’t very fast. He could bench press twice what I could, but if you put us in a race, I’d leave him in the dust. The argument almost always ended with him saying “I could crush you”, to which I’d inevitably reply “but you’d have to catch me first!”.

So I submit to all of you? Who was better off? The guy spending nothing who was lean, fit, and aerobic, or the guy who paid for the supplements and memberships who was bulky, ripped, and strong? If it sways your opinion any, it’s worth noting he eventually dropped the membership. Commuting back and forth from a gym after a long day isn’t that fun.

Train anywhere

This brings me to my second point regarding the secret power of jump rope. You can train ANYWHERE. Are you a high school boy who doesn’t have a car to drive to the gym with? Get a jump rope and train at home. Are you a college man who doesn’t have enough money after school expenses to pay for a membership? Get a jump rope and train at the dorm. Are you a young professional who has to travel often for business, living out of suitcases? Get a jump rope and take it with you on the go.

Nothing is wrong with big gyms, but they are usually landlocked. You have to go to them. Nothing wrong with home gyms with dumbbell racks and barbell stands, they’re just REALLY pricey and heavy. Having a jump rope avoids all of these problems. You can take it with you anywhere, which removes one of the most common excuses regarding exercise, “I just don’t want to go”. The good news is that you don’t have to. It’s right there within arm’s reach.

Jump rope is one of the most adaptable forms of exercise. Whether you’ve never broken a sweat in your life, or you’re well on your way to being the next Mr. Olympia, you can experience the fun of getting into a rhythm and flow and burning calories while building muscle.

Train both your mental and physical health.

Remember earlier when I talked about how I jumped rope in just shorts? This worked wonders on my mental discipline. Adding some nondangerous negative stimulation really helped develop my ability to focus and hone in on things.

Think about the brutal training regimen that Marines undergo in boot camp. I had a buddy who went through this process. The pinnacle event was the Crucible. As he was going through this event, he recalled how he spent a day hiking through the mud in full combat gear, only to sleep on a concrete pad in the rain that night. Was it fun? No. Did it hurt? Yes. Did it build discipline? Absolutely.

We can simulate a lighter version of this same process with a jump rope. It isn’t as easy to implement with biking, running, or lifting weights, but it is very easy to implement negative stimulation into a jump rope routine. The sting that comes from losing focus serves as a reminder to recenter the mind on the task at hand.

You can then take this practiced mental discipline and apply it in all other areas of life, whether it be school, relationships, business, etc. When you pair it with the physical benefits, you truly have an exercise past time that can’t be beaten.

You see, jumping rope is proven to improve bone density (the strength of your bones) and the strength of your heart and lungs. The compound action that occurs when so many different areas of your body are exercised at once forces your heart and lungs to compensate quicker. This leads to better cardiorespiratory fitness, which is just the fancy science way of saying you can exercise for longer periods of time with less effort. This means that you too can outrun the hulking tree-trunk-thigh guy who is in your life.

Jump rope also improves balance and coordination. As that rope swings around your body, sometimes multiple times a second, there is serious coordination taking place between your eyes, feet, and hands. You have to establish and maintain rhythm and agility, or you will miss a beat and break the flow. This repetitive motion also serves to increase lower leg stability, which means fewer knee and ankle injuries and improved motor coordination.

How to jump rope

I would be remiss to write an entire article about how amazing jump rope is without including a brief snippet regarding how to do it. Proper form is essential if you are to make this a staple exercise in your health journey:

Straighten your back, look straight ahead, aligning your shoulders and neck with the soles of your feet
With a jump rope handle in each hand, place the rope behind your feet.
Take a deep breath and tighten your core to engage your abdominal muscles
Using your wrists, swing the rope in a circular motion over your head.
Bend your knees slightly, and jump as the rope gets close to your feet. Don’t exaggerate your jumps. Try to land softly on the balls of your feet.
Do it again and catch the flow.

So go ahead and get some good, fast-paced tunes, grab a good rope, and get to jumping! For a long time, my routine was as follows:

I did a minimum of 4 sets per session, and a set was comprised of :

500 skips
15 pushups
15 situps
15 squats
1 minute rest

I did 5 sessions a week, Monday through Friday. I begin seeing results on my 4th week, both in how I felt and how I looked. So if you don’t immediately see the difference don’t get discouraged. The benefits of proper diet and exercise consistency compound daily, so keep at it!

This article originally appeared on Fill in the Gap.

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Maintaining your health in college

Aug 15, 2023

For many, college is a time of change and adjustment, as it flips the idea of school on its head. High school is often very well planned out. There are blocks and periods, and you go for 7-8 hours every day, Monday through Friday. Like some, when I was in my senior year of high school, I was able to have some added flexibility, due to a lighter course load, but that is not always the case. Most graduate high school and follow the same format they’ve followed for 12 years.

Because of the rigidness of the high school experience, many students fall apart when they get to college. They don’t understand the idea of time management AT ALL. Suddenly, they have some 45-minute classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and some hour-and-a-half classes on Tuesday and Thursday, with a 3-hour lab thrown into the mix 4 times a month. You quickly have to learn how to handle the schedule, or you will fall behind.

Sadly, there are young men out there who don’t get it, because they’ve never learned how to self-manage. One of the predominant ways this lack of control shows is in health. We’re going to spend a couple of minutes going through some key things that I learned as I went through college, in hopes that you can avoid some of the pitfalls that befell me and some of my classmates.

The “freshman fifteen” got its name for a reason. I had a buddy who was the star of the football team in high school. He was the peak of athleticism. If GQ had a section for high school athletes, he would have made the list. However, when he got to college, the weight gain set in. Late-night study sessions meant grabbing lots of takeout. Long hours in the library crafting essays and citing sources, followed by a part-time job to pay for school, meant he wasn’t going to the gym nearly as much. Stressing over finals also took its toll as well, and it became obvious that he had less time and energy to focus on his health.

Still, he was better off than many. I had classmates who got into the party scene really heavy. Every weekend, they were going to a frat house or a beach house. They thought college was going to be easier because you didn’t have to sit behind a desk taking notes as often. So they substituted sitting behind desks with dancing on tables. The debauchery was complete. Girls, drugs, and alcohol were in full supply. To no one’s surprise at all, many of these boys never walked the stage with a degree. They simply blew scholarship funds and their parent’s college funds and dropped out after a year or two.

It comes back to discipline. Merriam-Webster defines discipline as “control gained by enforcing obedience or order”. You have to enforce discipline on yourself. It is not your parents’ job, friends’ job, or professors’ job to get you to take care of first things first. As you go through your formative years of adolescence, there are many people who provide structure to discipline you in. Coaches, parents, and teachers all take on the responsibility of providing a context for you to operate in. However, when you get to college, it is your job to create this context and this atmosphere for yourself. Learning to discipline yourself is essential if you are to call yourself a man. In regard to your health specifically, you must discipline yourself in two key areas; mental discipline and physical discipline. In each discipline, there are three areas of focus: exercise, sleep, and diet.

Physical

Exercise

In an era marked by sedentary lifestyles and technological immersion, the importance of exercise on the physical body cannot be overstated. Science has unequivocally shown that regular physical activity is not just about shedding pounds or building muscles; it’s a powerful elixir for overall well-being. From strengthening the cardiovascular system to enhancing cognitive function, the benefits of exercise are far-reaching and undeniable.

Regular exercise is essential for your heart and blood vessels. Engaging in activities like brisk walking, jogging, or swimming increases your heart rate, which in turn enhances blood circulation throughout the body. This means your thinking clearer and you’re making better decisions. Research by the American Heart Association indicates that physical activity lowers the risk of heart disease by reducing blood pressure and improving cholesterol levels.

Before I began, I remember thinking that I would be impervious to the side effects of college, but as the stress kicked in, and the long hours, I soon learned that jumping rope, going for a jog, or lifting some weights was a better way to manage myself rather than partying or stress-eating. After all, all those things would’ve led to was weight gain and substance dependency.

Maintaining a healthy weight is not just about aesthetics (even though a lot of guys would like it to be haha); it’s a fundamental aspect of overall health. Engaging in regular exercise helps burn calories, creating a caloric deficit that contributes to weight loss or maintenance. For all you fellas who think pushing big weights up and down is all it takes, studies show combining aerobic exercises with strength training offers the most effective strategy for sustainable weight management and overall health.

Sleep

Sleep is not just a time of rest; it’s a period of intense activity within the body. During the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage, our brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and repairs cognitive functions. Studies from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have shown that this restorative process is pivotal for maintaining optimal brain performance and ensuring mental clarity throughout the day. Additionally, adequate sleep boosts the release of growth hormones, contributing to cell repair, muscle growth, and tissue rejuvenation. The role of sleep in repairing our physical systems cannot be overstated – it’s a fundamental aspect of keeping our bodies in peak condition.

It’s easy when you’re in college to grab a Monster or an espresso and pull an all-nighter. There is a cool factor associated with walking into a lecture hall hyped on caffeine and nerves to take an exam. Some would even say it’s part of the quintessential college experience, but they are wrong. Not only are you playing Russian roulette with your education, but you’re also damaging your cognitive abilities.

Good sleep isn’t just for academics though, for athletes and fitness enthusiasts, sleep is akin to a secret performance enhancer. Athletes who consistently receive ample sleep exhibit reduced perceived effort during workouts, allowing for longer and more productive training sessions. Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or someone pursuing an active lifestyle, optimizing sleep can unlock your physical potential.

Diet

In the bustling world of academia, where late-night study sessions and fast-paced schedules are the norm, the significance of a balanced diet often takes a backseat. However, the link between diet and physical well-being is undeniable, especially for college-age students who are in a crucial phase of development.

A diet rich in essential nutrients forms the foundation of a thriving body. College students can optimize their physical health by focusing on nutrient-dense foods, such as whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables. These foods provide a diverse range of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that support various bodily functions. I made it a point when I was in college to start the morning off with a glass of water and a piece of fruit. The water helped wake me up, and the antioxidants in the fruit helped energize me for the day ahead.

The demanding nature of college life requires sustained energy levels throughout the day. Crafting balanced meals that incorporate complex carbohydrates, healthy fats, and proteins can provide a steady release of energy. Meals high in refined sugars and unhealthy fats can lead to energy crashes and sluggishness, whereas meals built around whole foods can sustain vitality and cognitive function. I wasn’t always the best at maintaining a midday meal. Often, I’d schedule classes during the 11 AM - 1 PM block of time if possible, to allow me to leave earlier in the afternoon. Skipping this meal was noticeable in my mood and energy later in the afternoon.

As the time of finals neared, I made it a point to bring meals to eat between these classes, so I could maintain proper focus. It’s worth noting that omega-3 fatty acids found in fatty fish, nuts, and seeds can have a positive impact on cognitive function and memory. Incorporating these foods into the diet can potentially enhance focus, information retention, and overall academic success. (As a side-note though, you’re not going to be getting any ladies with fish-breath, so take that as you will haha)

The college experience can be both exciting and stressful. Our nutritional choices play a pivotal role in managing stress levels as we go through various stages of our day. Foods rich in magnesium, such as leafy greens, nuts, and whole grains, have been linked to reduced stress and anxiety levels. Be the weird guy with the loaf of whole wheat strapped to the side of his laptop bag. It’s 100% worth it to keep that stress level down.

Mental

Exercise

As college life unfolds, maintaining your health in college becomes a priority that often takes a backseat due to the demands of assignments, exams, and late-night study sessions. However, a crucial aspect of overall health that must not be overlooked is the profound impact of exercise on mental well-being.

College life is notorious for its stressors—academic pressures, social adjustments, and financial constraints—all of which can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and overall mental fatigue. Engaging in regular physical activity is a potent countermeasure to these challenges. Studies have shown that exercise triggers the release of endorphins, often referred to as “feel-good” hormones, which help alleviate stress and enhance mood. By incorporating exercise into your routine, you’re not just working on your physical health, but actively contributing to maintaining your health in college.

Cognitive function plays a pivotal role in succeeding academically. Exercise has been shown to have a positive impact on cognitive abilities such as memory, attention span, and problem-solving skills. When you prioritize physical activity, you’re essentially giving your brain a workout too, which can lead to improved focus and productivity in your studies.

Cardio was a lifesaver for me personally. If I was feeling stuck on an assignment, or sluggish in my task, I would take a break and go jump rope. 2000 repetitions. 4 sets of 500 jumps. That’ll take care of any mental roadblock you have for sure! I found that, when I reached a certain point of exertion, my brain couldn’t spin from subject to subject. It took all my focus to keep my feet in time. All I could hear was the inhale and exhale. It literally acted as a mental reset. If you don’t have a jump rope, go on Amazon right now and buy one. While you’re waiting for it to arrive, you can substitute jump rope with jogging. It has the same effect, it’s just not as good on the knees long-term.

College life often involves forming new social connections and building a sense of community. Exercise can facilitate this process by providing opportunities to engage in group activities, sports, or fitness classes. These interactions not only contribute to a sense of belonging but also serve as a support system during times of stress. Nurturing relationships through exercise can significantly impact your mental well-being, making it an essential component of maintaining your health in college.

Achieving a balance between academic commitments, social life, and personal well-being is crucial for maintaining your health in college. Regular exercise can act as a catalyst in this quest for balance. Allocating time for physical activity allows you to step away from your academic responsibilities, clear your mind, and recharge

Sleep

Maintaining your health in college goes hand in hand with getting proper sleep. According to a study by the National Sleep Foundation, young adults aged 18-25 require 7-9 hours of sleep per night to function optimally. Sleep isn’t just a luxury; it’s a biological necessity that impacts your mental and physical well-being. During sleep, your brain processes information, consolidates memories, and repairs itself, ensuring you wake up refreshed and ready to conquer the day ahead.

Your mental health hinges on your sleep patterns. College life gives you a lot of new things to stress about– assignments, exams, social pressures. Often, especially if you go to college away from home, you are having to navigate these things for the first time alone. All of this can take a toll on your mental well-being. It is well-known that inadequate sleep increases the risk of anxiety and depression among college students. Sleep deprivation disrupts neurotransmitter balance. That’s the fancy science term for the parts of your brain firing off chemical signals. AN imbalance makes you more susceptible to mood swings and negative emotions.

It’s important to know that deep sleep also helps solidify learning and enhances memory recall. By getting adequate sleep, you’re giving your brain the chance to recharge and function at its peak capacity. So how do you increase your chances of getting to a state of deep sleep?

Establish a Routine: Set a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends, to regulate your body’s internal clock.
Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Keep your dorm room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature to promote better sleep quality.
Limit Screen Time: The blue light emitted by electronic devices can disrupt your sleep-wake cycle. Power down at least an hour before bedtime.
Mindful Eating: Avoid heavy meals and caffeine close to bedtime, as they can interfere with sleep.
Physical Activity: Engage in regular exercise.

Diet

To the chagrin of many college males, maintaining your health in college is not just about hitting the gym and getting enough sleep. Your diet plays a pivotal role in nurturing your mental well-being. We may think that life would be better if we could live off Reign energy drinks and Papa John’s pizza, but the reality is we need to incorporate other options into our college-age bachelor diets.

Research consistently shows that there is a strong connection between diet and mental health. Consuming a diet rich in nutrient-dense foods can positively influence mood, cognition, and overall mental well-being. Foods containing omega-3 fatty acids, like fatty fish, walnuts, and flaxseeds, have been linked to reduced depression and anxiety symptoms, making them essential for maintaining your health in college.

Furthermore, complex carbohydrates found in whole grains, fruits, and vegetables play a role in stabilizing blood sugar levels. This stabilization helps prevent energy crashes and mood swings, contributing to a more balanced emotional state. Incorporating these foods into your diet is an integral part of maintaining your health in college.

The gut-brain connection is a fascinating area of research that highlights the connections between the digestive system and mental health. Maintaining a healthy gut through probiotic-rich foods like yogurt, kefir, and fermented vegetables can positively impact your mood and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Taking care of your gut health is, therefore, an essential component of maintaining your health in college.

In the past, I’ve been a big proponent of kefir. When I was in college, and living at home, it was a staple in the kitchen fridge. If I had an upset stomach regarding an upcoming presentation or a test, a swig of that stuff would knock it right out. You have to almost treat it like a shot though, as it tastes absolutely disgusting. Regardless of the flavor profile, I’ve never been able to argue with the results.

If we are to continue to grow and develop properly, it’s important to take your health seriously TODAY. I know of many men who didn’t and don’t, and it shows. By no means am I saying it’s wrong to indulge in some cake, or in an energy drink every once in a while. If you make it all the way through college without going on at least one late-night coffee binge, then I would argue you’ve missed out. That said, practicing proper health is something that it’s better to learn early on, and college is an excellent time to begin if you haven’t.

This article originally appeared on Fill in the Gap.

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